Summer Ends

Today was;
The first day of my senior year in high school.
The day I realized I havent written on here in a very long time.
The time when I thought about how I blew him off.
The day after that one day I want to forget.
The day I hold my ground just a little longer.
The day I wont break down.
a lot of things.

I drove my self to school this morning. Parked in the back, evn though there were places up front. Sat in my car a bit. Slowly walked up to the doors into the school.
Whne I opened the doors i had two thoughts.
1. Walk right back out and just drive away, far far away.
2. Find my friends and a bit of comfort.

The school day continued on as if summer never happened. As if, junior year just faded into this year. Its scary. I am only 7 months away from being 18. Only 9 months away from being a hgihschool grad.

Only 9 months away from freedom.

I think about it mroe and more and I really dont plan on going straight into college. I want to go to that secret place, that place that no one in the world knows I want to go. I want to go there and just relax. Just be alone, be free.

Today was the day that I realized that he isnt free anymore. He left. He's gone for... I dont even know how long. He's gone, and I am the one who blew him off just before he left. I was the one who made him sad and upset. I'm sorry for that...


I saw most my friends today. Some still look the same, however others have grown up. They dont look like the same people. Different hair, taller, gorgeous... Maybe I just didnt notice it those months ago, but those certain people.. they look so odd now, but good odd.

Bo is suprisingly different. He changed his hair, his clothing, and his attitude. I'm so glad he did change though, because of what him and i talked about last year and such. He was... not happy.
Well, hope the awesome freshmen meets some new cuties. Hahahahaha.

Work has become more and more of an agonizing thing, to be completly honest. I dont like it there any more. There are barely 5-6 people that I actually like. "Harold" is one of the worst, so is Fucktard.
My thoughts of one have changed a bit. And i need to keep it that way. xP


i currently have a very bad migrane.

I really want to text him. That one certain boy. But everytime I grab the phone... I just dont do it. He was in my life such a short while. i didnt pay enough attention.. Now he is gone... Gone for a very long time, if not forever. But I always have to have that approval. Without it my life'll be over.

Senior year is going to suck tremendously. I am taking a Junior class, a class I took already, and then a college class.

WTF, right?


So, my phone just rang and my brother got up to get it, even though I got up.. and he read it... I was like wtf dude. And took it from his hands. He annoys me greatly.


Here is a picture of me right now.

So yeah. I look like crap right now. Oh, and I am getting my hair cut tomorrow. Doing what I want to do. Fuck everyone elses opinions. =D


Bug bug is getting her shots right now, and she goes to school tomorrow. =]

I think I have written all I can for this censored version. All my real thoughts and names and ll will go in the uncensored one. The one no one knows about... till now, but you cant find it. >=)




Have a good day all.....